Why GOD exists? ~ an atheists anthropological narration.

On the day of ‘Janmashtmi’ ~ the day celebrated by Hindus all around as Lord Krishna’s birthday; I find myself occupied by thoughts that bring me here. On this auspicious day Devotees express their love for Lord Krishna in a manner as varied and as weird as it can get. From luxurious fasts to mindless gambling; from joining mad rush at midnight at Krishna temples to touch the symbolic ‘cradle’ to taking an extended weekend off from work. Faith manifests itself in myriad forms.

Over last 5000-6000 years of human civilization the GODS have changed with changing times. Earlier, during the pre-historic times, during the period when humans were wanderers like animals there were no GODS. The basis of life was survival and not significance. Gradually with passage of time ‘culture’ started building up. ‘Culture’ is what a human society conceives as its values of significance for that period of time and for that geographical region. Families, Small colonies, housing and  more importantly agriculture showed up first. During this era the humans started realising their dependence on nature. Rains, soil, rivers, winds, fire etc. But they never could understand the methodology to control these elements. And hence the concept of ‘worship’ came into existence. What humans can’t control they either worship it or forsake it depending on their need at that point of time. If the uncontrollable element is needed than worship it and if it can be tamed or could be done away with, than gladly forsake it. During this times the elements of nature like Trees, Rivers, Winds, Rains, Forests, Sun, animals etc. were worshiped.

This quality of human nature led to evolution of culture and new concepts of property, irrigation technologies, animal husbandry and eventually trading and economics. And a new element called WEALTH came into existence. Across all times, most human race has been lazy intellectually; and they never put in efforts to understand and meditate upon any happening. And so understandable and controllable man-made concepts start becoming in-comprehensible and intriguing and uncontrollable. Same happened with the so-called evolved human race. The elements of wealth, property, technology etc. that came into existence to reduce their dependence actually made them more dependent. The human race became less dependent on older elements of nature and became more dependent on newer elements of economics (the function of which was to make them independent in the first place!!) And this obviously needed new sets of GOD’s.

It is important to note that by this time ‘language’ had developed and with it the never ending human imagination.  This led to creation of stories and legends of Great Men and Women, which we today refer to as mythology. So came Laxmi, Saraswati, Durga, Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh etc. With trade, economics and human population flourishing the conflicts of human race also increased manifold. Earlier  only physical strength was the medium and antidote for conflicts; but now with human imagination flying physical strength no longer was mighty enough. Something more mightier had come into force. And that was MORALS. Morals are guidelines created by a society/culture to get desired behavior from a large section of people. Aristocracy and morals came in almost at the same time. The people who weren’t intellectually lazy realised the need for dependence of the human race and so they utilised the power of language and imagination to create stories of GODS that preached moral values. Those intellectually powerful people were Kings and Aristocrats and rest all were mere subjects.

With passing time people realised that moral values ain’t holding true always. Even after subscribing to moral values they are not able to experience happiness. Be content with what you have, do not be greedy, do not look at others property, love your spouse, be obedient to elders, kindness, generosity, patriotism and many more such morals were on the verge of destruction. The aristocrats  realised it and so they had to come up with a sustainable format for allowing to maintain and manage morals. This led to the inception of the concept of ‘organised religion’. An aristocrat backed by a Religion can control the subjects in a much smoother fashion. The intellectually lazy subjects fell into the trap and diverted energies into the reciting of hymns and carrying out of religious rituals while the Intellectuals enjoyed being in control. With this another power center came into existence. A natural corollary of fostering Organised religion – the powerful religious leaders came into existence. With this came the era of Religion and ‘Bhakti’ as often referred in Indian history. Language and Literature and education all laced with the thoughts and concepts of religion- wherein it was talked about the world being created by GOD and GOD being the ‘All MIGHTY’. And so naturally the caretakers of ‘All MIGHTY’ viz. the Priests and Popes and Sadhus became more and more powerful. This era saw the beginning of worship of a ‘living human’ be it in the form of a Yogi or a Sadhu or a Priest or a Pope.

With passage of time Aristocracy lost its power to Religion. Religion could tweak Morals as per the needs of different times, and human race had already subscribed to Religious Morals. And so gradually KINGS died and Temples and Shrines took over. But Religion was not capable of managing peoples aspiration for wealth and ‘good life’ and so a new order, a new force was required. Society now had Haves and Have nots. People with wealth and property and People devoid of wealth and property. Conflicts arose. But religion kept them at bay. Growing trade led to the need of an entity which would uphold religion and also manage the arising conflicts. This led to invention of Democracy. The formation of GOVERNMENT. A body whose function is to take care of ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’ both and yet can never go above religion. Basically a care taker. By now this element has also become a force that wants to control rather than take care. And a totally new dynamic is formed. Political leaders and Preachers of Democracy became New GODs. World got Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King and likes. This led the seed of the modern human society as we see it today. There is Government, there is Organised religion, there are Haves and there are Have nots. The four segments of the modern Human Race.

During this modern time, both human population and technological advancement are growing manifold. Globalisation and Internet have created a mixture of cultures. We have in our belief system our database of GODS and along with it modern education and globlisation are subjecting us to different stories and life styles. We earlier used to celebrate our GOD’s birthday with fast, but new western culture tells us that celebration has to be luxurious; and so came in Luxury fasts. The way they are done now. Where you have tons of options of eating even during fasts. The concept of introspection and meditation got transgressed into noise, luxury and show off. And this takes us to the brand new element of this modern era, which the human race is dependent on  FAME. After Nature, Wealth, Morals, Religious Gurus, Political leaders it is the era of CELEBRITY. In every possible field FAME is what the human race is trying to achieve. Hence Capitalism, Glamour, Fashion, Sexuality, modern Spirituality are the forces that rule the world. A new set of GOD’s which include the highest achievers of each of his forces are into existence. Each one has his/her own GOD. A Bill Clinton or a Dhirubhai Ambani for some; An Amitabh Bachchan or Shakira for some; An Armani or Versace for some; a Michael Jackson or a Lata Mangeshkar for few while a Osho or an Amma for others.

Religion is still sustaining. It has included FAME and CELEBRITY craving in its constitution in an implicit manner. Religion accepts charity, philanthropy, religious investments and donations as neutralizers for some other sins that you may  incur. The problem that is created is that under this arrangement only ‘haves’ of the society can get rid of their sins. What about those who cannot afford charity or philanthropy?? For the first time since its inception Religion is increasingly becoming distant from the ‘have nots’ of the society. What the ‘haves’ can control ‘have nots’ cant. And so the ‘have nots’ need an element which  they can worship inorder to express their dependence. This seems to be calling for a new order; a new set of GOD’s.

If at all I have to forecast. The answer to this last question will define the next age of human race. If I am correct than the signals are already showing up of this new element. An offshoot of Organised Religion – It is Religious extremism. And mind you the four segments of human race viz. The government, The Religion, The Haves and The Have nots they all are so intricately intertwined that  they all will together create a new set of GOD’s. This new GOD could be anybody from an Osama to a lesser known Wangari Mathai (noble laureate environmentalist)

From merely being an un-understandable element of dependency to being a complex caricature of Morals and lifestyle dependence the GOD has constantly changed. But the fact is GOD will always remain. Earlier human race was based on the value of ‘survival’ but now it is thriving on the value of ‘significance’. And so instead of being grateful or loving towards GOD;  we now Fear GOD.

Whatever we do or aspire to do is to feel significant. We study to give us a label, we choose a university which has some brand value, we wear clothes that says things about our status and attitudes, we follow religions that benefit us, we marry the one whom we can claim as our property, we build homes, businesses, relations …every damn endeavour is to feel significant. The fight for survival ends with life. But the craving for significance have made us believe that our ‘properties’ out live us. The more assets (both material and relationships) we have that could out live us, makes us feel more significant and more happy.

I do not believe in GOD. (maybe this statement is what makes me feel ‘significant’)

‘Permanentisation’

Among temporariness we seek permanence. The entire society collectively seeks this. Hence generally most temporary events or incidences are labeled anti-social.

Some examples to explain :

#1 : Take the case of inter gender attraction/liking ; suppose A likes B  person..A’s entire efforts would be to ‘permanentise’ the whole equation with B through ‘marriage’

If B has a thing for one night stands or flings…A’s gonna label B with some anti-social name.

Marriage is legal while Prostitution is illegal. The point is they both exist.

# 2 : Same holds true for any relation. Every relation is a method to make that temporary contact permanent. Friendship, soul mates, love, ‘you like my brother’…’you like my sister’ etc. are just means to seek permanence.

Ever wondered that new close inter gender friendships are rare post marriage. Reason being one cannot seek permanence any more, if they do…it generally becomes anti-social.

Formalities are acceptable while limitless indulgent relationships are not. However they both do exist.

# 3 : Being drunk and behaving a little rowdy on some Saturday night, is a youngsters temporary behaviour. That young guy or gal could be as sincere as anyone else otherwise. If at all a cop finds that person in that temporary state of being rowdy on the street, that might just get termed as ‘anti-social’. But than the society tends to ‘permanentise’ this phenomenon by providing pubs/discs, basically places to be rowdy!!

Pubbing is legal while Drinking in public place is anti social. They both exist.

#4 : Construction / blockage of any kind on a public road is illegal. But a shabby temple existing in d middle of the road is legal. The same temple came into existence as a temporary structure but than if it manages to permanentise itself, by means of faith, wish – full fill fundas, then it becomes socially acceptable.

#5 : In legal parlance Begging is a crime, its illegal. Even the society considers it as a malice. But then we have ‘permanentised’ it in various manners like subsidies, interest free loans, charitable donations, favours etc.

Accepting charity is legal, while begging is a social issue. They both exist.

# 6 : Over a horizon of  few centuries our existence is very temporary. Yet individually and even collectively we are oriented to ‘permanentise’ our lives.

Superman is acceptable while a ‘devdas’ is not socially acceptable. Both are our fantasies, but one of them is termed ‘anti social’.

I can go on and on with such examples. At this point I wish to make it clear that the idea is not ‘society bashing’. Even at very individual level this behaviour occurs. Rather it starts from the individual before it becomes a collective social phenomenon.

The question that comes up is why this happens?

I think it is basic human nature to seek permanence. Reason being the feelings of fear, insecurity and jealousy are so strong that the only way out for an individual is to ‘permanentise’.

So be it. All that I would comment is just not look down upon all that is  ‘anti social’. Its just a different perspective. And more importantly one never knows when it would be ‘permanentised’ !!!

Note : Nothing really is permanent. A permanent state is theoritical. It cannot exist. But the orientation to seek permanence, the idea of feeling secured with what is permanent is real. To describe this orientation as a cognitive process I could not find any word. So the term ‘PERMANENTISE’.

It currently does not have a dictionary meaning.

PS : The thoughts expressed is not an attempt to make a statement on human behaviour. This is just a perspective of an individual called me and that perspective too is temporary. Each situation described above can be viewed from different angles and new fundas can be created. Keep this in mind else the point will be missed.

Some definitions.

Over last 3 decades,  life has played a hell lot of games with me. Let me tell you I have had a ball(mostly )  In hindsight many things seem unreal, rather it seems as if it were all a dream. But from all of the experiences that I went through, and still going through, all the things that I did, all the things that  I was made to do, all that I resisted and all that I could never resist, all that is known about me and from all that is not known – all of these combine to create someone called ME. And its a continuum. Unending. Like a potters wheel. One may never know what the final shape of the pot will be, until the wheel stops. Similarly, I believe that, until the wheel of life stops, there won’t be any status quo.

Based on what I have absorbed, here are some definitions (as of now) on a few things of life.  My choice making is based on these definitions or perceptions, whatever sounds better, of mine. And they are ever changing.

Here they are :

Life :  The duration between two accidents namely, Birth and Death.

Love: Absolute indulgence.

Hatred : Stupid indulgence.

God : Mankind’s greatest invention.

Dreams : “Dreams are what you never can become.” and “Dream is an sms from you to you.”

Luck : “Its that something which gets you through when you didn’t expect to; and when  its absent it wont let you through even though you are all sure n prepared!”

Society : A camouflage. Every one finds their own suitable hide out and then stay put.

Marriage : A societal arrangement, to bind the two genders of homo sapiens, and throw them in a maze of unending triviality, a trivia of purposes, fears, hopes and insecurities.

If absent, it can completely shatter the societal structure. Because that would lead to sans the purpose of most men/women’s life.

The way to rise above the walls of this maze is to find  a strong purpose for oneself.

( will write a piece on this some time)

Prayer : A means to experience surreal.

Morals : Man made hurdles. Winner is the one who use them to his/her advantage.

Crime : A signal that after all we are all animals.

Innovation : eg. Snooze…the greatest innovation.

Patriotism : Forced religion.

Tears : The response of the body when one is able to stretch out of one’s own inhibitions. This state is mostly momentary.

Goodness : Just another vocation.

Greatness : Crossing the expectations of  the people around.

History : Manufactured truth.

Truth : What you believe in is what you consider to be true.

PS : Those who liked the definitions don’t be too happy, and those who didn’t like them, don’t be too furious. Coz by the time we bump into each other, most of it might just have changed!!!! (potters wheel, remember )

Life, a Traffic Jam.

We all have certain understanding or beliefs about LIFE. Our own Philosophies. The basis of our choice making. I have mine. Here is my take on LIFE.

Definition : The duration between two accidents, namely birth and death.

Do’s : Try and enrich the duration. I get my kicks from taking chances. Nothings really wrong.

Dont’s : Never try to secure the duration.

The Analogy :

One fine evening you heading home from work, having thought of reaching there in 20 minutes.  You end up in a traffic jam. Now consider this incident(accident) of you getting stuck in the jam as your BIRTH. The moment the Traffic gets cleared, lets consider that moment as DEATH. In between these two, you have life in your hands. Amidst the traffic, the chaos , the noise you got LIFE. The two immediate choices that one has are 1 – Keep waiting for the traffic jam to get clear and 2 – Start doing things that would make you forget that you are waiting.

Those who subscribe to choice 1 i.e those who wait for the traffic jam to get clear, this is what happens to them :

• Wait in itself is excruciating.
• These people end up being impatient.
• They crib about their current state. They worry about being late.
• They get frustrated with these unplanned thing happening to them.
• They complain.
• Each minute seems too long.
• They are bored.
• They think they are alone.
• They think they are missing out on something while they are stuck.
• At most what they will do is ‘honk’. They think that’s all they can do.
• A few ‘intelligent’ ones would curse the unknown.
• The  only thing that matters about this duration to them is “when will this end?”
• when the traffic gets cleared and the movement starts again (death) they look at the watch, curse, honk and depart (exactly in that order!!!)

Now, lets look at what happens to the ones who choose the Second way, the other way, which is to start doing things that would make them forget that they are waiting.

• Their first exclamation “Wow! what a jam!!! “
• They will look around, observe the surroundings.
• Based on their disposition they would involve themselves in some act. As in some one would increase the volume of stereo and enjoy the music. Someone like me would make a few calls and enjoy the chat. Someone might find an interesting face around to look at and fantasize. Someone might just close his/her eyes and day dream.  Some enterprising one might get out of the vehicle and involve him/herself in clearing the jam. Some chatter bug might just strike a conversation with the one besides him.
• They keep smiling.
• They are enjoying.
• They are so relaxed.
• They just never realise and by the time the traffic is cleared and the movement starts again(death); they look at the watch, smile, set their radio station and leave!
• For them it was never about minutes, the entire duration was just one moment!

This is exactly what happens with LIFE. If you consider Life as a ‘duration’ then all your actions will be focused on securing that duration. The time that has gone can never come back and the time that is yet to come can never be secured, and while worrying about yesterday and tomorrow one forgets that TODAY exists. This inturn would lead to frustration, anxiety, insecurity and fear. And if you consider Life as an opportunity to ‘do things that you would want to’ than all your thoughts and actions will be focused on enriching every moment. Life as a whole would become one single moment.

As simple as that.

Just Live.

“I believe that if you are constantly doing what you are doing just because you are told to do or because of your fear of tomorrow or because of commitments and responsibilities you would have truly lost the whole purpose of being alive.” ~ RGV

PS : I belong to the second way, the other way of doing things. However I do find myself frustrated at times, but I manage to drag myself back. I enjoy my indulgences and derive my kicks from taking wild chances.

Friday, 1st March,2002

Now that politics, democracy, humanity etc. is on the mind, I wish to share this piece I wrote almost exactly 7 years back. It is a reaction to the most dreaded incident in the history of Gujarat and Ahmedabad, the Godhra riots.

No, the attempt is not to dig out the dead, nor to discuss riots etc. It is a follow up to the VOTING discussion which is currently ON. A perspective on – how we as individuals of a ‘democratic’ society behave, it reminds us of our hyocrisy, and tells us in our face that we are plain ‘selfish’.

We discuss democracy, we discuss ‘HOPE’, we discuss growth, we discuss changing the country with a VOTE..We just discuss.We enjoy talking. We are in the age of media and communication and blogging.

All that I am trying to say is that – “I should discuss with myself and try and change myself. I need to liberate myself from animosity, hypocrisy and short sightedness. That in my opinion would make me ‘free’; that in my opinion would result in DEMOCRACY”

Here it is, the exact representation, whatever I had expressed on that dreadful FRIDAY.

Mihir

AHMEDA(BAR)BAD

10:30 am

Friday, 1^st March,2002

ahmedabad.

Aghast, Shocked, Amazed, Aggrieved; more than anything I feel helpless. Never have I experienced despair to the limits as I am experiencing now. For the first time ever I am feeling sorry, sorry for myself. I am full of remorse for being a part of a caste, for being a part of a community, for being a part of a population, for being a part of a generation and for being a part of a city, which rejects sanity.

It took just a day to kill my city. My city is raped and molested by its own people. There is not a building left without the marks of this mass barbarism. It was a day when hooligans and vandals were the dictators and ‘Police’ were spectators. Instigated by the fuel of communalism this vandals took over the city and gifted the city its worst day in history. The places where I used to shop, the places where I used to eat, the people with whom I used to deal are no more. The places were very much a part of the city’s lifestyle, which now remain destroyed, that too by the same people who till yesterday happily used those places. More than the slogan shouting ‘god loving’ people I was more shocked by the behavior of the so-called ‘urban’ and ‘educated’ citizens of the city who took the incident as a ‘shopping ! festival’. As I was moving around a few areas yesterday evening I could see people, both men and women looting shops and gay fully picking up things of their choice. The surprising sight was that at no place did I spot a policeman or a fire brigade(only one on cg road).

Today morning on my way to the office I felt the pain of the city. The buildings which remained full with activity were dead silent, the roads where I daily see youngsters hustling and bustling were not heard. Tears started rolling down my cheek. The reason for these tears is the painful realization that occurred to me after 22 years; the realization of the fact that I am an inhabitant of a jungle. Whom I considered civilians are all animals, whom I considered as care takers are all hunters and whom I considered as man (myself) turned out to be a rabbit burrowed in the hole.

I don’t know the people involved, I don’t know the reason for such an act nor am I interested to know; but what concerns me is the fate of my city. What was the mistake of my city? I am confused as to whom should this question be directed, to the chief minister, to the VHP or to the people. I don’t want any answers but I want some entity to respond.

Ahmedabad will be now in the history as a city that had the most glorious funeral. Given a choice I would have opted for another earthquake as the destroyer.

The process of our evolution to be human still remains unfinished. May we become human someday.

Ek Amdavadi.

Five reasons to not vote.

My concept of democracy is an environment wherein each and every individual gets to exercise his/her free will.

Birth and Death are the two accidents of life; but what defines life is the choices we make during the time period in between this two accidents. And in order to make satisfaction generating decisions we need to be ‘aware’. I mean awareness of self. Most of the time we just follow some rules, ideals and constitution just because we are programmed to do so in our formative years. We start believing those ‘thoughts’ of ours and ‘us’. But that is not true. Else there wouldn’t be so much of frustration, so much of homicides, so much of fear lurking all around. ‘Free Will’ doesn’t mean behaving haphazardly, being careless and clue less. ‘Free will’ means an ability to choose the belief system which would help you lead a satisfying life (in your own understanding); the choice making ability for you to achieve your goal of your life. ( one may choose to not have any goals; given this is a satisfaction generating decision and not mere escapism)

The whole of earth is one and so is the whole of humanity. I believe in a boundary less world. Boundaries can be there; but for the sole purpose of governing concern.   A millenium back some control freak with the support of muscle power would have been able to control a particular population residing in a particular geographical area. To sustain the control on the population the ruler would have to come up with rules, constitution, laws etc. Infact to me it seems that the invention of army as a force would have been to restrict this population within this geographical area; rather than the current known function of it providing security. Soon many such groups would have formed leading to a complex world structure as we see today. The need to control took over the minds of  ‘rulers’ rather than the object to provide an environment where ‘free will’ can pervade. These groups of people is what evolved into NATIONS. With nations came the new moralities and values like PATRIOTISM, MOTHERLAND, dying for my nation etc.  For intellectually inclined came the concepts like Anarchy, Communism, Republican, Theoism, Socialism and DEMOCRACY. What I am saying here is that all of these morals or concepts or systems are at root restrictive; and hence can never encourage ‘Free will’.

Having said that, we are today living in a world order where each NATION is competing, fearing, depending on other NATION for its survival. From all the available and evolved concepts let us accept for now that DEMOCRACY if practiced by all NATIONS, can lead to a progressive world order of peace and satisfaction for all. So the objective of the Democratic system is to create an environment which encourages ‘free will’.

Now let me try and explain  the manner in which democracy is practiced in today’s time.

1. Partisan politics or PARTY  based democratic system at its root is divisive. It can never bring people together and hence it would never make people ‘aware’. Infact it is marred by propoganda and divisive strategies which only corrupts the environment. Moresover it is driven by lust of POWER and not for anything that we discussed above.
2. “VOTING as the ultimate expression of democracy” is nothing but a myth.  Voting only allows me to choose one from a lot; who are fundamentally all same. It is like  whom shall i choose to exploit me this time? This in my understanding is not an exercise in Democracy.
3. Lets for one minute believe that voting is great and it bring revolutions and all. In post modern history, since the dawn of democracy, no revolution has occured due to an election. That’s just one. Now sample this : A, B and C are the three contesting party’s in a particular area. A plays the majority caste game, B plays the minority religion card and C is someone who is using the Socio-economic segment as its propoganda. Now B trades with C to create an atmosphere so that their propoganda breaks the votes of A. This inturn would help reduce the marging between A and B. So C exists only as a tool to manufacture votes. This is a very common strategy, much more complex tools are deployed in the real world. The whole campaign of ‘PLEASE VOTE’ is/can be a strategy to shift the numbers equation.
4. The so called accomplishments of any elected government are not leading us to a safe, secure or equitable society. The most dreading fact is all of the educated and literate and well read you dont want to make yourself aware of the real statistics. And for believers in vote ; antiincumbancy(existing candidate losing out) has been a major phenomenon in most constituences in most elections over past 6 decades.
5. Most importantly Voting, by no means leads to the exercise of my ‘free will’. I deny to subscribe to this hollow morals bombarded on me which tells me that “IF YOU DO NOT VOTE YOU ARE NOT AN INDIAN” and on the other end it allows me to litter on road  remain an Indian.

These are the Five reasons for me to NOT VOTE.

All the intelligent ones would already have their comments ready;  the remaining ones in any case wouldn’t have reached till here. However let me make it clear that I am not being a cynic nor I am being regressive. I believe in change, I believe in chaos and a I also believe in accepting new order.

But all of those who wish to give me a dose on pop-morals like “dont just speak,  do something”, “get into the system to clean the system” etc etc…..I would just say that even I have watched and enjoyed “Rang De basanti’ and ‘Yuva’.  That’s just about it.

But yes, a democracy can be encouraging, it can make the individuals of society ‘aware’ and that would happen when Votes are not begged for, but are offered. I would quote OSHO here : “ My concept of democracy is people deciding on their own, without any political propaganda from anybody. Choose the candidates you like. In fact, the candidate approaching the people and asking,“Please choose me,” is ugly. If he is of any worth, people should reach him and ask him, “Please take this responsibility for us. We want you to be in Parliament.” “

I take this opportunity to persuade Dr. Kalam, Mr. Narayanmurthy, Mr. Sam Pitroda, Mr. N Vittal, Mr. VG Patel to get into governments, to get into active public administration. (there are many more capable individuals, but i would name only whom I have read or known) It is not this mythical ‘vote’ but the choice to persuade those whom I consider appropriate a greater exercise in BEHAVING DEMOCRATICALLY. All of us know some such capable individuals around us. They need not be known and popular figures. Find them and persuade them to get into the assembly. Some of you who think themselves to be capable of governing a society, persuade yourselves. I truly believe that this ACT OF PERSUADING the candidates we collectively see capable of is a greater democratic expression than a mere black dot on the index finger.

I like to call such a world order as ‘COLLABORATIVE DEMOCRACY’. Where the individuals of the society find their MP’s & PM’s and Presidents rather than the Prime Ministers and Presidents searching for votes.

Thats all. Period.

PS : I may still go to vote. The voter this time around has the choice to ‘not choose anyone; and this choice will still be counted.

love ? obsession ? madness ?

My Definition of LOVE : limitless flow of emotions between two  individuals.

Hriday : my 3 year ol’ nephew. Neha : my bhabhi (sister-in-law)

Hriday would do anything and everything to attract Neha’s attention. He  wants absolute attention of his mom, at any given point. Since last two evenings neha, hriday, ansh(the elder nephew), my brother and myself , we sit together to watch the ongoing T20 cricket tournament. What  happened is as follows :

Hriday was jumpin around Neha….every now and then he would hold her, or would want to be held by her. For a few moments he would play with his car, play with the ball, may be fight with his elder bro…..than again he would reach out to his mom – hugging her, sitting in the lap, kissing her, smiling at her, talking with her and so on. For a few moments he went back to his toys. But even while playing with his car he  shouted to his mom wanting her to see hows he driving it.  He then jumped, ran across the room just moving here and there; while he was having his fun…he kept shouting to his mom. Whatever he did, whatever he spoke (or shouted) – Neha had to respond.

It just doesnt end here. Attention is not the only thing he wants from his mom. He also wants absolute right over his mothers lap. So any attempt of Ansh to take that place attracted immediate reaction. He is such a cute devil that while he was seated on the throne he actually told to Ansh that – Mom is mine, You may have Dad.

Eventually he got tired, and fell asleep in his mom’s lap. It still doesnt end here.

As he was asleep Neha thought that now the ‘game’ is over. My brother helped by lifting Hriday and making him comfortable on the couch. In less than 5 seconds I hear a little cry. It was Hriday. While  almost in sleep and in a semi conscious state he starts to crawl and gets back into his mothers lap.

Attention, Possesiveness, Access – So very common in a mother – child relation.

We smile and say thats LOVE.

Now, cut to a different scenario. Imagine this very same dynamics, in the very same intensity between two ‘adults’. To continue with the ongoing example and characters- imagine if its me and Neha. A brother-in-law craving for absolute attention, feeling possesive and wanting accessibility to/for his sis-in-law. How does it sound? Picture any two young adults, having this intensity and intimacy – like a child has for his mother…how would you respond?

It amazes me how the same very dynamics that we saw earlier between a mother and child, if seen between two adults evokes different emotions to the third party. The ‘oddness’ of it magnifies if the two involved adults belong to opposite genders. I am not being judgemental here. Its a fact that we all know. More amusing is the fact that even the involved adults tend to deny this innateness. I have seen saint-like noble adults becoming uncomfortable and denying this proximity.

Probable reasons could be : 1 – societal values (which sees a mother – child innocently, but denies seeing any other relation in the same light)

2 – (if opposite genders) a moral conflict is followed.  The sexuality would turn the perceptions even more extra ordinary.

But I am not discussing reasons here… its just that I am amused as i have witnessed these starkly different reactions, to two occurances , which in my perception are so similar.

Attention, Possesiveness, Access – in a non- mother child relation;

We frown and say thats OBSESSION.

Now, try and stretch this imagination still more further. Imagine the same dynamics occuring between an elderly person and a young adult. (No we are not talking Nishabd or Lolita here). Take for example a father-in-law and a daugter-in-law or say a young adult and a middle aged neighbour. Its not that affection does not exist in any such relations. We see such relations around us. But we tend to keep them within certain ‘acceptable’ limits. What if its limitless, natural and innate and proximal like a mother-child equation.

No that should not be done. “Every relation has to have limits” – is how we react.

Attention, Possesiveness, Access – in such a relation;

We pucker our eyebrow and say thats MADNESS.

Still in my mind is the image of sleepy Hriday crawling into his mothers lap. Cant this happen elsewhere? Is it compulsory that this can happen only within individuals of existing societal entity called family?

I really dont think so.

If a child is obsessed with his mother its called LOVE; if the mother loves her/his friend like his/her child its called OBSESSION; and if the mother is loved by some middle – aged neighbour its called MADNESS!

We say that we humans thrive on love; but it seems most of the times we resist love.

All i wanted to say is LOVE or OBSESSION or MADNESS its all one and the same. They are just words invented to brand the inexplicable. And what amuses me most is the behaviour whereby WE DENY SEEING THE OBVIOUS WHERE WE OUGHT TO, WHEREAS WE WANT TO SEE BEYOND THE OBVIOUS WHERE WE SHOULDNT BE.

So if you want love, be prepared for some obsession and madness; and if you are giving love, dont miss out on obsession and madness in your concoction.